Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes

Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a masterfully made film that will enchant every viewer. It is full of great wit and comedy. The Holy Grail is revealed to be sought after by King Arthur and his knights in the movie. These quotes about Monty Python and the Holy Grail can help you learn more.

1. "Help! Help! I’m being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Violence inherent in the system!" – Dennis

2. "No, now go away before I taunt you a second time." – French Soldier

3. "I’m not quite dead yet!" – Old Man

4. "Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge… tracts of land." – King of the Swamp Castle

5. "We want A SHRUBBERY!" – Knights

6. "'Tis but a flesh wound!" – Black Knight

7. "Bring out your dead!" – Cart Master

8. King Arthur: "I didn’t know you were called Dennis."

9. Dennis: "Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?"

10. "Did you dress her up like this?" - Sir Bedevere

11. "NO! No, no, no, no, no, no…" – Villagers

12. One Villager: "Yes."

13. "Yes. Yes. Yes. A bit. Yes. A bit. A bit." - Villagers

14. "On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place." – Arthur

15. "This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who." – King of the Swamp Castle

16. "We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked."

17. "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" – Soldier

18. "Well, I didn’t vote for you." – Peasant Woman

19. "She turned me into a newt."

20. "I got better." - Villager B

21. "We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot." – Knights of Camelot

22. "’Course it’s a good idea!" – God

23. "If…she…weighs the same as a duck……she’s made of wood." – Villager

24. "I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." – French knight to King Arthur

25. "We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’" – Knights of Ni

26. "Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful. She’s rich. She’s got huge…tracts of land." – King of Swamp Castle

27. "Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth." – Tim the Enchanter

28. "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

29. "But if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve ‘Aargh.’ He’d just say it." – King Arthur

30. "No chance, English bedwetting types! I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms!" – French knight

31. "It is I, Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England." – King Arthur

32. "Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave, is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth." – Tim

33. Below are some Monty Python and The Holy Grail quotes you might have heard before.

34. "This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes." – King Arthur

35. "Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down here!" – Woman

36. "Well, don’t. It’s just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing." – God

37. "Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?" – Sir Robin

38. "If I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!"

39. "This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who." – King of the Swamp Castle

40. "Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" – Dennis

41. "You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!" – Sir Robin

42. "Agh! Do your worst!" – Old Crone

43. Three-Headed Knight: (First Head) "I say let’s kill him."

44. "Oh, stop your whining. First, we kill him, then we have biscuits and tea." – Sir Galahad

45. "No biscuits. Let’s just kill him already."

46. King Arthur: "You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?"

47. "You make me sad."

48. "Consult the Book of Armaments!

49. King Arthur: "You’re a loony!"

50. Dennis: "Help, I’m being oppressed. Come and see the violence inherent in the system."

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